Munchies Review #002- Spicy Ranch 3D Doritos

Finding this blast from the past on the store shelf tickled my nostalgia bone so hard that I felt it in my nether regions. I'm not sure if there's a single chip on the market that could've brought as much excitement to my life as these 3D bastards. Immediately, I noticed the new packaging, new logo, and what's this "crunch" business about? I don't remember such a crunch being advertised on the original Zesty Ranch interpretation. Will the new crunch be what makes this excel above the original?

To my disappointment, it seems these changes stem from a much deeper problem than new packaging. This experience is not at all what I was hoping for. Both in the texture and taste. It feels so wrong. I find these chips passable on their own merit as an edible chip product, but even judging them on this basis, it pains me to say that I feel like I'm eating knock off Bugles. These chips have a slightly more mild ranch taste than one would expect from a cool ranch Dorito that is drowned out by an overwhelming spiciness. A suspicious spiciness. It almost feels like they are trying to hide something with the amount of spice used. If the goal was to create the anti-cool ranch, they have certainly succeeded. The biggest let down for me has to be the texture, aka, what is labeled as, the crunch. To my best knowledge, the texture of these new 3D Doritos feel and act identical to that of a Bugle corn snack. They are so similar in fact that I wouldn't be shocked to find out that the two companies are in cahoots or formed some sort of partnership. To my memory, the original 3D's had more of a Chex Mix like experience, making the chip feel like a Dorito has truly become third dimensional. This time around I can't seem to find any Dorito DNA baked into these chips. Only the DNA of a Bugle!

This re-release feels uninspired. Every single aspect of these 3D's feels like a watered down version of their past selves. From abandoning the unique tube packaging, the lackluster marketing, change of flavors, all the way down to the very DNA of the very chip product itself. Perhaps if they went with a different name I would be more forgiving. There is a below average snacking experience to be had here but even then I can't seem to find a core Dorito essence in these chips. They certainly do not represent the wild, creative, out of the box thinking that the 3D name once stood for. The 90's represented a special point in time filled with wild and exciting snacking ideas and this is anything but that. Crunch Spicy Ranch 3D's as a product feels as if they were manufactured in a corporate board room fueled on cocaine, with no love or thought put into it this. They didn't even bother to make the logo in a 3D font for crying out loud. Perhaps I'm looking at this through nostalgia goggles? Maybe this is a corporate conspiracy to prevent fans from pleading for a return of their beloved 3D's? Simply a nostalgia filled cash grab? Wait, does Doritos now have access to a Bugle supply?

HOW FLAME WAS IT?- 🔥🔥/5